Throughout the next year I listened to endless planning sessions and discussions about "the wedding". I brought up my speech a few times in that year, but each time I was met with the same response, "Sorry Dad, you're not giving a speech." I finally resigned myself to the fact that I was just going to be an "extra" in this whole thing.
About a week before the wedding, as the final plans were being made for the rehearsal and dinner and wedding day, my daughter brought up the fact that I had to give the "welcome" at the banquet (after the wedding but before the meal). She just said, "You'll do the welcome at Dellwood and then hand the mic off to the pastor for the prayer." I shrugged it off as trivial and said "sure, I can do that".
Then the day before the wedding, amidst the hustle and bustle of getting ready for the rehearsal and dinner, my daughter caught me alone and said, "Dad, will you take me to coffee tomorrow morning?". I said, "Sure, what time?", and she said "How about 7?" I said "It's a date!"
I got up early the next morning and sat deep in my thoughts about all that was happening. She came down around 6:45 and we headed to coffee. We started with small talk about different parts of the wedding and how the day was going to go, about different people we were going to see, and how we hoped it stayed a nice day. I told her I was very proud of her and happy for her, and we talked about her goals and plans for life. As we were getting ready to leave, she asked me, "So, do you have your father of the bride speech ready?" I just stared at her and said, "What?!? You said I wasn't giving a speech!" She smiled coyly and said, "Oh, I thought I told you. I found out it's customary for the father of the bride to give a speech during the welcome." I said, "No, that must have slipped in the details. If you want me to give one, I will, but I don't have one prepared." She said, "Well, yeah, I would like you to give one - but just make it short, OK?" I said, "OK" and we came home with about 4 hours to get ready for the rest of the big day. She went on to get her hair, nails, and whatever else that brides get done, and I sat down to write a speech!
Well, I'll be honest and say that I did quite a bit of internet research on FOB speech protocol, and had written my second complete draft within the first hour of getting home. I then went to practice it in front of the mirror in the bathroom, and turned into a puddle of tears the first several times I tried to get through it. I finally felt like I had a handle on it and tried a practice run in front of my son - with the same result as the first few times in front of the mirror. I thought "I'm never going to be able to get through this." But by the third time with my son, I thought I had a handle on it and was ready. I practiced it two more times in the bathroom at church before the wedding and felt like I was good to go - that I could even give it without reading it from the paper. I tucked the pages into my suit coat and readied myself for the big walk and the ceremony.
When I got to the banquet hall, I stalked down the DJ to understand the logistics and process. He calmly told me when I was supposed to get up, where I was supposed to stand, how I would get the mic, and how I would hand it off to the pastor when I was done. I felt as ready as I would ever be. When the time came, I got up, and I actually made it through the speech without crying like a baby - although I did have several moments where I was so choked up I couldn't get the next sentence out. I think the pauses added drama to the speech :). Anyway, without further ado, here's the speech I ended up giving:
"Hi Everyone,
For those of you I haven't met yet, my name is Joel ... and I am the "Father of the Bride".
First, let me say "Welcome!" to you all and thank you all for sharing in this happy day for Allysa and David.
And Second, to Kile & Jenny, Daniel, Becca & Seth, Ritchie, Jessie, and Lucy, and of course David, I'd like to officially welcome you to the Glass family! We look forward to sharing many more happy times with you all.
Allysa and David - you two have always looked good together, but today you make an especially handsome couple. Allysa, I think you are beautiful all the time, but today, you look absolutely radiant! I could not be prouder of the person you are and I could not be happier for you than I am today.
Right now, I just want to share a couple of snapshot moments that I've had with Allysa. She was really a "Daddy's girl" growing up so I have a lot of them, but there were two bright memories that flashed immediately to my mind that fateful day last June when David joined me on the porch as I was grilling, and, with his eyes fixed firmly down at his shuffling feet, asked for my permission to propose to Allysa.
The first snapshot was from back when Allysa was about 5 years old and still an only child. It was a late spring day and she and I were outside playing in the warm weather - me shooting hoops and she riding the new bike that her Grandma Dorothy had given her for Christmas. I went inside to get a drink and just as I got to the sink I heard this blood curdling scream from outside. I ran to see what happened and when I opened the door, there stood Allysa, blood dripping down her face and neck from a huge gash in her upper lip (she had cut it on the horn of her bike when she bumped the curb). My first thought on seeing her was, "Oh no, not her beautiful FACE!" But what was really seared into my memory was the look she had on her face; especially her eyes. They were wide open and locked on mine as if to say, "Dad? Help Me!" Well, I scooped her up in my arms, brought her in to wash off the blood, and then we rushed her to the emergency room where she got stitched up. All the way to the hospital I kept reassuring her, saying, "Everything's going to be OK Allysa, everything is going to be OK."
By the way, you can still see her scar when it gets cold outside :)
Now flash forward with me to the summer after Allysa and David's senior year in high school. They had already been dating for several years then and it was pretty clear to me that David was an important man in Allysa's life. They spent that summer hanging out together and with friends as much as possible, but Allysa was going to school in Eau Claire in the fall, and David was going to UMD. In addition, David was going to kick for the UMD football team, which meant that he had to leave a few weeks earlier than Allysa for training camp. It was early on a Saturday morning in August when David packed up and headed for Duluth. I was up when Allysa went over the the Nadeau's to say "Good bye" to him, and I was sitting at our computer in the kitchen when she came home. She walked in to the kitchen and I turned to look at her and there it was - that same look on her face and in her eyes that she had all those years earlier - "Dad? Help me!" I grabbed her and hugged her as she sobbed and sobbed in my arms, and I just kept saying to her, "Everything's going to be OK Allysa, everything is going to be OK."
And that brings me back to that day last June on the porch with David. There was quite the awkward pause before I answered him (he must have been sweating bullets), but it was because those memories were flashing through my mind. And my NEXT thought was that the NEXT time Allysa needed help like that, she was going to turn to you, David. I had to digest that and check myself to be 100% sure that I could trust you with that. So I thought back through your relationship and how you have respected Allysa and treated her so well all these years, and I knew, I KNEW that I could not have asked for a better man and partner for Allysa. So I said, "Of course, David" and gave him my blessing.
And here we are. That was over a year ago and tons of planning and decision making has happened since then. And, you MADE IT! It was a beautiful ceremony and I am really looking forward to this reception. I invite everyone here, young and old, to have fun and get out on the dance floor tonight and "Dance like no one is watching."
I'll conclude with a toast:
A toast to my daughter Allysa. She was and is a gift from God and I am grateful and honored to be her Dad. May God continue to bless her and David and grant them health, happiness, and most of all Love all the days of their lives.
Cheers!"
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